Celebrating Tiny Warriors : A Reflection on World Prematurity Day
Picture this: you’re 27 weeks pregnant, and just heading into the cozy anticipation-filled nesting stage of the third trimester. But instead of strolling through stores, perusing adorable little onesies and filling out your baby registry, you’re in the hospital, panic buying baby furniture, freaking out that you haven’t taken a lamaze class, and trying your hardest not to go into labor! Three days later your tiniest little miracle is making an abrupt, but grand entrance into the world.
This is our story. Alex was in the NICU for the first two months of his life. The first few weeks were terrifying, and each night we had to leave the hospital it felt like someone was literally tearing a piece of my heart out and leaving it behind for someone else to care for. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, but every monitor beep, every successful feeding, every tiny milestone, brought us closer to the day we could bring our little fighter home.
Our NICU days were filled with a mix of hope and fear, but also an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Gratitude for the incredible medical team, for the strength our little one showed, and for the support from family and close friends. The people who showed up for us in those early days made more of an impact than they could possibly imagine. From friends and family who came into town to make sure we were eating, and to spend some of those lonely hours in the hospital by our side, to my girlfriends who brought champagne and flowers into my hospital room to celebrate Alex’s birth like you would a “normal” baby. Their actions told us “We believe everything is going to be ok”, and that was exactly what we needed!
As you can imagine, World Prematurity Day is dear to our hearts. It’s a time to celebrate Alex, to be extra thankful, and to support other parents who are going through their own journey. I know it can be hard to relate to this experience if you’ve never been through it. And because we’re here to celebrate life’s moments - no matter how imperfect they are - I’d love to share my thoughts on navigating this emotional experience.
For parents:
Celebrate often: These tiny heroes bring an extra dose of love, strength, and perspective to our lives. Pause and appreciate the milestones, no matter how small. From those first kangaroo cuddles, to graduating to an open air isolette, to the triumph of leaving the NICU, every step is a victory!
Share Your Story: There's power in sharing experiences. When you open up about your journey you'll be surprised how many people can relate, or at least offer a comforting word. I would also gently urge you to seek therapy, or at a minimum, to join your hospital’s NICU support group. This can be an incredibly isolating experience, even when you’re surrounded by love and support. Being encouraged to speak freely about it can be very cathartic.
Be Patient: The NICU journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Give yourself grace. Allow yourself to be angry or to cry. Some days are tougher than others, and it’s ok to not always put on a brave face. And, in case you need to hear permission (we did), it’s okay to take time for yourself. Grab coffee with a friend, go on a dinner date with your partner, take a long stroll through the park.
Create Memories: Trust me when I say that someday your days in the NICU will be a total blur. Try to create positive memories amidst the challenges. A mini photoshoot in the NICU or a journal to document the journey can be incredibly meaningful later on!
To support parents:
Heartfelt Gestures: Sometimes, a simple "I'm here for you" goes a long way. Share your love and support through small gestures, like a homemade meal or a thoughtful care package. Gift cards for restaurants and coffee shops near (or in) the hospital are also a great idea. Self-care items like a cozy blanket for inevitable chair naps or moisturizer for all of the hand washing will surely be appreciated, too.
Listen and Learn: Every preemie journey is unique. Take the time to listen, learn, and understand the needs of parents. Sometimes, lending an ear can be the greatest gift. If you are local, try to make time to sit with the parents in the NICU, or take them away from the hospital for coffee or lunch. At the same time, don’t take it personally if they are not responding to calls or texts in a timely manner, or if they just don’t feel like chatting. Some days are harder than others.
Create a Village: Offer practical help. Whether it's babysitting, running errands, cleaning house, lawn care, walking dogs, providing rides to and from the hospital (especially for c-section moms), or just being a reliable friend. Creating a support network can make a world of difference!
Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate the achievements, no matter how minor. From weight gains to first smiles, every step is a reason to party! Above all, congratulate them even if it feels scary. And if you don’t know what to say, simply tell them, “I don’t know what to say, but I want to support you and will be here for anything you need”. And then whip out your pom-poms to cheer for them and their tiny fighter(s) every step of the way!
Hugs and strength and so much love to you if you are currently on this journey, and many thanks if you are supporting a loved one through it! Here's to our tiny warriors, their brave parents, and the power of support and gratitude. World Prematurity Day is not just a date on the calendar. It’s an opportunity to raise awareness about the challenges faced by preterm babies and their families and to demonstrate solidarity and compassion for them. For our family, it’s also a reminder to cherish the journey, no matter how unexpected it may be!
